reality

you were worthy enough,
of waking me from my sleep,
to make reality better than dreams.

vidya kethineni

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virus

these scars,
lessening ever so slowly,
lying on these white sheet coffins,
red spreading like a virus,
find her asking thyself,
was it all worth the break of such dam,
down from the eyelid,
down to the carpus.

vidya kethineni

two-faced

the cigarette caressing your lips,
is killing your lungs,
but you breathe it in and let it ruin you,
like you let her pretty face,
speak ugly words and tear your heart out,
you never learn.

vidya kethineni

lost

I’ve lost my path in my own creation,
a world I dived into,
getting deeper by the days,
and darker by the months it felt,

for then it seemed to spark a part of me,
something I no longer can see,
at lost of hope, an inspiration, maybe a key,

all I am now is numb, don’t know what to feel,
dry for words that once came out fluently,
and now I’ve lost me.

vidya kethineni

homesick

I’m homesick,
for a place I’ve never been to,
never seen nor heard of,
for a home that was never met,
neither scattered with belongings,
a place where impossibly everything is right,
and all miseries are forgotten.

vidya kethineni

insecurity

insecurity
noun
  1. uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.
  2. the state of being open to danger or threat; lack of protection.

As we progress into the future, a larger number of people are fighting with their insecurities. These insecurities which commonly provoke prolong self-hate. The problem with hate is that it’s addictive, just like love, it’s another drug. Once you see yourself a certain way, it’s hard to redirect your vision. It creates a mindset that barricades you from the truth of yourself, and who you are. It sets you down a path of internal conflict and helplessness, often leading to a darker abyss, even to the depth of depression. You tend to fall into a bottomless well, and no matter how many ropes you’re offered, you’re bound to slip a couple times. In situations like these, your heart will suffocate feeling lonelier than ever, and your mind will go blind to any source of light. But in the end, it’ll be you who’ll have to pound yourself into finding hope and to never give up faith, for even in the darkest night sky, a star shines.

vidya kethineni

dear you

dear you

my heart is rotting with sadness, blue clearing out the dark red blood once so oxygenated by the beauty of your nature. your betrayal is squeezing thoughts from corners of my mind unconscious for so long. I’m questioning myself of any unknown wrongs, crying endlessly with miscalculated purpose, feeling a regret absent before. you confuse parts of me that have been crystal clear. you use her words as an excuse to lure me into stitching the cuts she provoked and supply you the lost blood through my drying out body. and when I’m begging for you, screaming out of breath, your senses remain stagnant. with her, you deafen to all else and my cries for help remain useless, leaving a pain growing, and a virus of confusion and unanswered questions circulating forever.

vidya kethineni

panic attack

he had a handful of thoughts, yet nothing at focus. his heart was beating at a hundred miles an hour, begging for him to hit the breaks. it was as if all the blood was sucked from his heart. his heart felt smaller, almost shrunken. his stomach lurching like somebody grabbed his intestines and twisted it, and his throat dried up, tightening itself as he fell to the ground. he lied on an unsteady floor, a tear unwantedly seeping out of his eye. soon a dam let loose, a tsunami erupted from his waterline. a feeling of drowning in the overflowing body of water arose. like an endless underwater maze, he swam through his mind, trying to find an exit. his heart at peak, and his inhaler out of reach, he fought a battle to breathe.

vidya kethineni

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